BRETT “I’m Just Early” Bucket Hat

This isn’t just a bucket hat — it’s a tax write-off for conviction.

BRETT’s living lavish mid-dump, wrapped in velvet cope and high-yield delusion. This all-over print bucket hat wraps your entire head in the energy of “portfolio: bleeding / vibes: immaculate.” It’s the perfect accessory for sipping martinis in a crashing jet and calling it “just volatility.”

Whether you're down bad or just dangerously early, this hat completes the fit.

📉 Perfect for:

• Crypto bros who bought the top… and the merch

• Degen philosophers in their accumulation arc

• Traders who lounge harder than they leverage

💎 Product Features:

• 100% durable poly = unshaken even in red candles

• AOP = full-drip panic-resistant pattern

• Structured crown fit = like your delusions of grandeur

• Breathable and lightweight for prolonged coping sessions

• Multiple sizes available — because conviction comes in all heads

🧼 Care Instructions:

• Do not bleach your vibes

• Dry flat like your charts post-Fed speech

• Iron low, like expectations

• Machine wash cold (30°C / 90°F)

• Dry clean if you’re still pretending to be solvent